just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize