I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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