Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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