who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
