Nicole vs. Life
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize