I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
