...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
