He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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