Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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