the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I need water and some morals
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
