Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
