i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
