you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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