im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
