my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
