You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
