before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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