i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
