I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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