Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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