It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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