ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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