is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
