His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Do vagina's smell?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
