if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
