I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
