very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
