i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
