went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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