i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize