he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
