dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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