the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
