That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
