If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
