I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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