Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can't talk, ducks in the car
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize