So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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