the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just cropdusted the office
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
