who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
