absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
