i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
