Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
