Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
