you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
