used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Acid is not a monday night drug
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
