Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
How's work?
Spinning.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
