Do you still have your period?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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