i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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