i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize