dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
