i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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