I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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