Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
