My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
