wakey wakey hands off snakey
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
