How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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