The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
