it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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