Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
