No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
