the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
