I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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