He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
