A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
