he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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