im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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