sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
