2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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