epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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