I swear she didn't look like that last week.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
