i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
