The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
